Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Randomize
