don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
