Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Randomize