How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
My balls are so social today.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
