I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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