Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
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