he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
