I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Randomize
