White coat. Heels.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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