This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
