I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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