There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
