I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
