oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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