be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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