Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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