winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
We don't watch enough power rangers
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Randomize
