Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
