I wish life had little blips of pornography
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
God gave him joint rollers for hands
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
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