Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
