You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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