so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
