It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
