Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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