I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
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