My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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