Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
