if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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