can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
