I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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