whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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