so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I just gift wrapped bread.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
