I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
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