your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
