So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
