Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
