Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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