Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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