Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
