it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
It's shark week go big or go home
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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