Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
