the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
