Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
