Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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