My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
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