ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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