You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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