Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
