why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
