literally had 100 drinks last night.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
