Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
