wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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