I think i peed on brittanys purse
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
