i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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