i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
