Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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