Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
