I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
