I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
