I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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