Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
