I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
