If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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