Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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