singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
