How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
