I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
